Any good liberal Democrat knows all the stages of suffering: denial, rage, grief, and acceptance. Unfortunately, many are still fixed at the early denial stage. To help them with their journey to acceptance we list the ...

Top Ten Sure Signs the Democratic Party is Dead.

by Sally Dolon 

10. African-American scholars have uncovered a shocking fact: Democrats historically favored BOTH slavery and segregation!

9. California Lesbian Nuns for Abortion endorsed Republican Governor Pete Wilson.

8. Vice-President Al Gore has now admitted the sky is not falling.

7. NY Times mistakenly printed the Social Security Trust-Fund Balance.

6. New Webster's dictionary traced Democrat back to the Greek word for Socialist.

5. Anonymous terrorist mailed U.S. Constitution to all Federal Judges.

4. Gorbachev declined his invitation to join the Democratic Party-- but Yeltsin is still considering it.

3. Dick Gephardt thinks fellow Democrats lack principles.

2. Republicans have a secret plan to combine election ballots with 1040 forms.

and the number one reason to play taps at the donkey convention . . .

1. Bill Clinton is the best Democrat since Jimmy Carter.