Ever since N.J. Senator Bill Bradley called it quits and raged against the dying of the light, many Democrats have been experiencing troubled thoughts. How could this be? If even Bill Bradley is frustrated, what can it mean? Have no fear, fellow comrades. Take heart. It is easily explained by listing the . . .

Top Ten Reasons Bill Bradley left the U.S. Senate

by Sally Dolon

10. His jump shot was gone.

9. Senators always provide the honest reasons . . . right after they quit.

8. He discovered Hillary was telling all her friends to support his re-election.

7. His plan to revitalize America with new social programs wasn't getting serious consideration.

6. Ted Kennedy was praising his integrity.

5. Who cares?

4. He used to double-date with Bob Packwood.

3. Why wait for the election? Take early retirement instead.

2. He finally realized: Bill Clinton is truly the best the Democratic party can offer.

and the number one reason Bradley fouled out . . .

1. Waaah! I don't get my way any more.